Black Widow
by Scary-Girly
Summary: Every person has a secret identity, including people from Hogwarts. What happens when Hermione, Ron, Malfoy, Harry, Ginny, and Dudley meet at a night club called the Black Widow. Will the sly, sleek Ginny and Hermione apeal to Harry, Ron, Draco and Dudley
1. Chapter 1 the club

Harry walked through the dark streets of London looking at that closed shops around him. He was here on a trip with the Dursleys and since his Aunt and Uncle had left for the night to go to so fancy dinner party, he was left alone at the hotel with Dudley who immediately snuck of wearing leather which made him even more like a whale. Since Harry had nothing better to do he decided to go for a walk. HE got dressed in a black shirt that was so tight that you could see every curve of his muscles, and a pair of black pants. Before leaving the room he popped in his brand new contacts and grabbed his leather jacket and was off. He wandered around for some time until he heard the faint sounds of a bass and saw the lights coming from a building in the very center of London. He decided to venture this way to find out what it was.  
  
After walking for 30 minutes he found himself standing in front of a night club named Black Widow. He decided that there would be no harm in going in since it was a muggle club so no one in there would know who he was. At the front of the club stood a tall man who somewhat resembled a gorilla that was holding a large group of girls back from entering the club. Harry decided that Gorilla Man wouldn't notice if he just slipped past him. Harry casually walked over to a tree pretending to admire it and when he thought no one was looking he jumped onto the lowest branch and slowly made his way to the end of the branch above him that hung out over the area behind Gorilla Man. What the screams of the girls had reached ear splitting level he jumped down from the tree to the ground and landed on the carpet like a cat on all fours. He quickly stood up and brushed a leaf out of his hair. He gazed at the long tunnel that led to the source of the music and stared to walk. 


	2. Chapter 2 the band

When Harry reached the end of the tunnel he found himself on the side a room full of dancing people, flashing lights, and loud music. For the first time in 2 days Harry smiled. Here there would be no Dursleys to boss him around and no Harry Potter fan club to worship him and stare at his scar. Slithering through the hot bodies, he made is way over to the bar where he ordered himself a beer. The bartender who was standing at the end of the bar, opposite from Harry was sitting, slide the beer down towards him. He caught it and took a sip while looking around at the people in the club. In the very center stood a stage where a band was playing the Rich and Famous whose lead guitarist and singer wasn't that good. After listening to them for 5 minutes, Harry started to get pissed off. To no one's knowledge he had been practicing the electric guitar for the past 3 years and decided that he would make a bet. He made his way through the crowd over to the stage past a blondish brunette also in a red dress dancing and an overly fat boy in leather dancing. He walked over to the lead guitarist who had just finished playing the final chord of The Young and the Hopeless.  
"Erm... Sorry to interrupt up but I was just sitting over at the bar and I noticed that, well, your not very good. I'll make a bet with you, let me play, if I am better then you then you'll buy all of my food and drink for the rest of the night and you will let me play with you guys whenever I want for the rest of the night. If you win then I will but the rest of your food and drink for the night, and will leave this club."  
After discussing this for a minute they agreed and shook hands. Harry smiled as he picked up his guitar and he turned to the rest of the band.  
"Alright you guys, do you know Little Things by Good Charlotte?" They all nodded and Harry turned to the mic.  
Yeah...  
  
this song is dedicated...  
  
(This is Good Charlotte)  
  
To every kid who ever got picked last in gym class,  
  
(You know What i'm saying...This is for you)  
  
To every kid who never had a date to no school dance,  
  
(This is for you)  
  
To everyone whose ever been called a freak...  
  
(You'll know what i'm saying)  
  
This is for you...here we...here we goooo...  
  
Harry jumped in the air and played the chord. His adrenaline was starting to pump him like every time he played the guitar.  
  
yeah...  
  
uhh...  
  
what...  
  
come on...  
  
(You'll Know what i'm saying)  
  
what...  
  
come on...  
  
come on...  
  
come on...  
  
Here we go...  
  
uohhhhhhhh...  
  
(come on)  
  
uuuooohhhh...  
  
(lets do this)  
  
Here we go...  
  
Like the time in school when we got free lunch,  
  
And the cool kids beat us up (reduced lunch),  
  
And the rich kids had convertibles,  
  
And we had to ride the bus (55!),  
  
Like the time we made the baseball team,  
  
But they still laughed at us (you still suck!),  
  
Like the time that girl broke up with me,  
  
'Cause I wasn't cool enough (TRICK!!)  
  
Things.... Things....  
  
Here we goooo...  
  
(Go)  
  
The little things, little things,  
  
They always hang around,  
  
The little things, little things,  
  
They try to break me down,  
  
The little things, little things,  
  
They just won't go away,  
  
The little things, little things,  
  
Made me who I am today,  
  
Go...  
  
You wanna hate me now,  
  
But I won't stop now,  
  
'Cause I can't stop now,  
  
It was at this time that he saw her, she was dancing next a boy with purple hair. She had bright curly red hair that flowed pasted her shoulders and was wearing a low cut red dress that was...well filled and had the nicest blue eyes he had ever seen. For the rest of the song Harry was in a daze just watching her dance. When He finished the song, the crowd went wild for him. He looked over to the lead guitarist and smiled while turning back to the band.  
"Alright boys our next song will be... In the End by Linkin Park. Alright?" said Harry looking at there faces to make sure they knew that one. When none of them blinked he took that as a yes they could play it.  
Harry looked out across the crowd and saw her stand looking straight at him. She smiled at him and Harry smiled back. For the next few hours they played more songs until the manger told him it was time for Emma Watson to come sing for them. Jumping down of the stage he walked over to the bar as he watched as a pretty blonde/brunette walked up on the stage in almost the exact same outfit as Halle Berry in Catwoman. As she began to sing a song by Pink he realized something that caused him to drop him beer on the floor. The sexy, hott, singer up on that stage was...Hermione!!!!(bum,bum,bum) 


	3. Chapter 3 Hermione

**Anigen- WEEEEE! I know I am just so happy!!!! I feel so special that you love it!!!! MORE reviews MORE reviews!**

**Tanydwr- I know big twist, I was going to have Harry be Daniel but... oh well!!!!**

**GeorgeFred-fan- Well la de da!! HE is Daniel is in real life so why can't Harry, if Hermione is Emma then poo on you! G.C. is pretty good though I personally like the Ramones better, and Rooney, and Outkast and, Jet, and...you get the point. Anyway who are they posers of? Huh Huh?!?! I'm ok.**

**Liza- Thank you much! Don't worry its summer, I have all the time in t.h.e. w.o.r.l.d. besides my 2 swim camp and swim practice everyday and 2 volleyball camp and crew camp and swim meets and concerts and...don't worry I will.**

**I'm sorry that this took so long but it's not like anyone is reading it!!**

Harry couldn't believe it. This confident girl standing up on the stage was the non-rule breaking bookworm Hermione that had yelled at Harry one time for wearing a some-what tight shirt. Now she was the one up on the stage looking like a prostitute wearing a too tight shirt and skirt. Oh my GOD!!!! He wished Malfoy was here to see Hermione on the stage and try to call her a Mudblood. Even Malfoy wouldn't recognize her, the new pretty, sex, hott, confident Hermione! When the song finish and Hermione aka Emma stepped off the stage after all the clapping, Harry pushed through the crowd past the dancing druggies and singing sluts, towards Hermione to he could talk to her.

"That was great! Not your usual stuff though." Said Harry in an almost whisper next to her ear.

Hermione started to turn around "Thank you but wha-HARRY!" She was about to fling herself on him when she stopped, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I thought you were some one I knew." Harry smiled,

"That's 'cause I am Hermione."

"Harry! Oh my gosh! It's you! You were on of the last people I would expect to be here! Was that really you up there playing? You look so great! I can't believe you're here! How did you get away from the Dursleys? You look so hot-I mean you really nice." Hermione finish lamely.

Harry smiled his adorable lopsided smile that could break your heart. "I never expected to see you up there, especially here! You, of all people!! I never knew that you were a singer or even owned a pair of heels."

Hermione laughed embarrassedly "Well you see one day last summer this guy heard me singing when I was riding my bike and he thought I was pretty good so he offered me a chance to come into his studio and make a demo tape of me sing a song I had written. I did and I gave it to a record company and they really liked it we have been working on it over the year. I have a CD coming out on Tuesday .Harry stood there dumb struck. "Wow Hermione, I am so proud of you!" he pulled the smiling girl into a giant bear hug.

After their Lifetime TV movie moment, Harry bought Hermione a beer and they sat at the bar for a good 40 minutes. They talked about Hermione's record and all of the songs that she had written, and then discussed how Harry's guitar skills and how he taught himself to play. After they're second beer (a/n these are virgin beers even though there is no such thing", they started talking about Ron, the Dursleys "best" moments, Malfoy the bouncing ferret and his stupidity, Ginny and how they thought maybe they should include her more and how she was growing up (Harry blushed constantly during this), and Hogwarts.

Then when (a/n I can rhyme!!) they finished their 3rd beer they decided to dance. After dancing to the song Dip It Low for about a minute a fat whale waddle over to them and asked Hermione,

"Hey sexy, do you want to dance with me again?" Hermione answered crossly with a discussed look on her face "I told you, I don't want to dance with you! Why do you keep asking me that!! You already have been turned down about 20 times in the past hour so go bugger off!!" The fat whale didn't move but Harry's mouth dropped open. Hermione shoved the whale towards a girl trying to dance in her 5-inch heels. "And don't come back!" She turned back to Harry and blushed. "What?"

"I have only seen you that angry when Malfoy called you a ...Mudblood in 3rd year and you punched him. I think you should wear outfits like the one you have on 'cause I think that's what's making everyone look twice at you like that whale." Hermione looked confused and said intelligently "Huh?" "Look around you, everyone is staring at you and I pretty sure its that outfit cause this has never happened before." Hermione looked around at the crowd surrounding them and at least 10 guys were looking at her. "Oh" said Hermione and blushed even more if that was possible.

Suddenly the whale came back but instead of talking to Hermione, he directed him question at Harry.

"Do I know you? You look familiar, have I threatened you before?" Harry suddenly realizing who this whale was, replied haughtily "I make a point of avoiding familiarity with bullies" Harry pauses and finished with a grin, "ikkle dudleykinns"

**Mwahahaha!!! I am so evil!!!**


	4. Author Note

Bad news folks. Just when I was _finally_ going to put up a new chapter my computer crashed. That's right, I have nothing now. Not even iTunes! All the work I've put into my stories is down the drain. So here's the deal, I'm going to try to update as soon as possible which for some stories it means never. (never say never) But until then I leave you with this thought.

HOT STARS

All my friends love Orlando Bloom

Or Harry Potter on his magical broom

Some might like Keanu Reeves

With his black handsome leather sleeves

Keeping the Matrix robots in their place

Being the hero to save the human race

Or perhaps the actor Billy Boyd

In his mysterious Middle Earth Void

Playing a hobbit three movies in a row

Still makes you wish that he was your beau.

My friend Lacey is in love with Johnny Depp

She loves a guy with an awesome rep

From pirates on the Caribbean to a schizophrenic writer

You can never find a guy whose butt is any tighter

The new and improved Chad Michael Murray

With his blonde hair so cute and furry

Mr. Prince Charming to Hilary Duff

Don't let that fool you he's quite manly and rough

Also the S.W.A.T. hot Colin Farrell

Saving the world from danger and peril

Sometimes a cowboy who's smooth and slick

But no matter the character, he always gets the chick

Breaking all boundaries comes sweet feet Hugh

Sing songs from Grease and kicking butts right on cue

With a "goody trail" that's quite well known

When he walks in the room all the other guys groan

Although some might disagree I've got a soft spot for Michael Vartan

Kicking buttocks and looking hot and makes him da' man

He's not the most popular guy or that famous

But whoever argues that he is ugly is an ignoramus

Here comes musical Robert Carmine

His luscious hotness makes everyone pine

Whether he's a princess's crush or a famous rock star

It's agreed that in modeling he would go far

You can never forget hunky Tom Cruise

On Mission Impossible he can never lose

He may be gettin' old and not one of the "it" guys

But with his résumé, it makes some of the new actors look like small fries

All these hotties in one single room

Danny and Pyro wishing that one was their groom

So many of these stars live in LA

Where they get filthy rich and party all day

With the nice cars that go zoom zoom zoom

Who want publicity even in the little men's room

Who could spend life loving someone they don't know

Not knowing if they're nice or if they only care about dough

Money that they spend on things they don't need

Money they only have 'cause of their stupidity and greed

Why all my friends like these dorks I'll never know

All I can do is laugh and not let true feelings show 


End file.
